The nights of Pain, Depression and Over-thinkking: Perfect Storm


I was talking about triggers with my psychologist in regards to depression. He said he pretty much knew what mine were. And I said good thing someone knows. But in fact some were pretty clear. Two massively big ones: Pain and Over-thinking. And how it creates the perfect storm. How both of my suicide attempts at night in high intensity pain after over-thinking and spiraling into deep depressive states.

These two love to play together at night. Less distractions at night and my pain load is substantially higher at night. My pain generally starts baseline in morning then migraine kicks in a few hours later... then pain just climbs from there until it is around a 9 at night. Not always. I range from a 7-9 on average. Occasionally a 6 when I am lucky. I call a 7 a good day. An 8 a crappy day. And a 9 a high intensity day. It is the 9 that is the problem. 9 and overthinking often spirals out of control down the rabbit whole.

It often starts with something simple like I have to work tomorrow and how horrible that will be in pain. Then it is how horrible it is that I Always have to work in pain. Of course then I think why is it that we have to suffer more and work? Why is it we have to torment ourselves with this extra pain like this? It is like this madness. Intentional madness. That everyone seems to think is a fine idea and we participate in. Then I think... this is my life... forever inflicting more suffering on myself to fit into societies standards. Why am I participating in this endless madness of suffering? Never being able to just suffer in peace. Of course this leads to a massive bout of poor me syndrome of the pain is never going to end. What is the point of this existence if it is just on big ball of pain. I mean seriously, it is a very limited life, of continuous suffering and limitation and it seems like there is no meaning to it except not to make others sad from your demise. I yearn for sleep, knowing I won't get any. Yearn for death, knowing apparently that isn't the answer. (Yearn for no pain is perhaps what I should say because that is the actual truth. I really want the end of the pain.) In the moment the pain is this immense all consuming thing. And the thinking is just making it more Large more Profound more Real.

All that starts on the slippery slope of 'Man, it is going to suck working with this pain tomorrow'. When I have no clue what my pain will be tomorrow.  And I know pain intensities vary. And I know I can have a life with pain.

But high intensity pain and over-thinking and depression is just not a good recipe. Because I can think about literally anything and I will think about the Worst case scenario. I will think myself into a depressive state so quickly it is terrifying. And I do mean terrifying since I have suicidal ideation.

I cannot do anything about the pain at that level. Mediation at that level of pain is out. It is too high to meditate. Just doesn't work. Close your eyes. Breath in. Pain. Breathe out. Pain. Try not to think about how much damn pain your are in. It is like mindfulness on pain. Not a good choice.

What I can do something about is that plague of over-thinking. I am a chronic over-thinker. Always have been. In this case I have to stop myself. I have to stop it immediately at that first negative thought. Stop it and think a more reasonable rational thought.

So... God it going to suck working in this pain tomorrow.  Becomes: I don't know how much pain I am going to be in. Pain varies.

Now if I find the thoughts are exceptionally dark. I will go to sleep. Better to sleep off the mood.

And f I stop the thought I will then fill my time with other things so I don't circle around back to other negative pain induced thoughts. Anything I am capable of doing in that level of pain. Flipping though Facebook. Blogging. Creating content for my page... sometimes I create my best most compelling content that way. People can relate because in the moment I am in a state that is Very relatable. Put on some mellow music and just do some fiction writing. Anything to keep my brain occupied on anything else. If it is a high 9 on the cusp of a 10 then just mindlessly flipping through tumblr, FB of my wordpress feed is enough.

I have to understand that the pain is controlling my mood. Any complex thought. Any stressful thought. Any thought about the future. Anything work related. Anything pain related. Will all be turned against me. And my mood will plummet into the abyss.

Now, of course, I have also been put on medication to prevent that low of all lows where I get suicidal. There is that. And it is vital and important to treat sucidal depression. My second spontaneous suicidal attempt scared me. That I could cross that line so fast without even really thinking or planning. Because it is so much easier the second time. And it means my risk is that much higher. So medication is a must.

10 things we are doing for our health that people are not aware of





Every been told that you do not do 'enough' for your health? Like you are not working hard enough to cure yourself? It makes me wonder if people in fact realize all the things we in fact do for our health


  1. Doctors/specialists/tests upon tests- We have appointments coming out of our appointments. We have out doctor and specialists.
  2. Medications. I personally have more medications than my grandmother. Maybe because she is quite healthy and I am not..Point being we take medications.
  3. Psychologist- sometimes this chronic illness and chronic pain cause depression or difficulties coping. So we add that to our list of professionals we see.
  4. Mindfulness/meditation- our pain clinic, doc and psychologist all recommend we do meditations so we add that to our plan.
  5. Supplements- Some supplements are given to us by doctors like Vit D for pain and recommended like B2 for migraines. Others we add in ourselves. Out of pocked of course.
  6. Diet changes- at least a few times in our chronic lives we come across a diet that people swear by and we try that to help improve our symptoms.
  7. Exercise- again recommended by doctors, difficult to do, but slow and steady we do what we can.
  8. Alternative treatments- Acupuncture, massage, chiropractors, biofeedback. We try them all. And some work for us, some don't. If they work we add them to our plan of things to do.
  9. Address our sleep issues: with chronic illness and pain many of develop sleeping problems and we learn good sleep habits, and ways to manage it, and mediation before bed and medication if need be
  10. Most of all we always pace ourselves. We always moderate our activities. We always stay within our limits. Or pay the price. 

Makes you wonder what people think we are going. We are doing everything we can to maintain as best a well-being as we can under the circumstances. Trying our best to achieve a balance.

Next time someone says you are not doing enough for your health list of every single thing that you are doing every single day.

Chronic is chronic. We are not curing ourselves. We are managing ourselves.

Small-fiber polyneuropathy and Fibromyalgia






There was an intriguing study done in the University of W├╝rzburg and published in Brain march 9, 2013indicateing fibromyalgia pain is due to small fiber neuropathy. One did wonder at the time if this was a feature of fibromyalgia and if so what was the cause of the neuropathy. However what if it is the case that many people diagnosed with fibromyalgia actually in fact have small-fiber polyneuropahy? This can not only affect treatment dramatically but this is due to the fact small-fiber polyneuropahies are often caused by underlying conditions. If the recent studies on this are accurate then this is a common cause of misdiagnosis with fibromyalgia.


Study: Pain Journal: Objective evidence that small-fiber polyneuropathy underlies some illnesses currently labeled as fibromyalgia Painu June 5, 2013. By Anne Louise Oaklander, Zeva Daniela Herzog, Heather Downs and Max M. Klein. Department of Neurology, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts, 02114; Department of Pathology (Neuropathology), Massachusetts General Hospital, Boston, Massachusetts, 02114.
The study aimed to evaluate whether some people with fibromyalgia might in fact have small-fiber polyneuropathy (SFPN) as an actual cause to the illness. They reviewed 27 people with fibromyalgia and 30 controls for SFPN symptoms and markers. The study made use of Michigan Neuropathy Screening Instrument (MNSI), the Utah Early Neuropathy Scale (UENS),autonomic-function testing (AFT) and distal-leg neurodiagnostic skin biopsies.

Analyzing my work situation


Even working part-time I have seen a substantial raise in pain. And it is difficult. So I have to look at it logically and see if this is worth it. What exactly am I getting from this.

  1. Income: I am getting money and this is obviously an important factor. I have bills to pay and so forth. I am getting less than my former roll and full-time, but less stress as well. 
  2. Socialization: I am getting interaction with people at least three times a week. I am not one to ignore the importance of this. I feel like a shut in too long at home by myself.
  3. Out of the house: I am getting out of the house three days of the week. When I was off, there were weeks when I never left the house at all.
  4. Productive: I feel productive. I feel like I am accomplishing something each day I work.
  5. Sleep cycle: I feel my sleep cycle is returning to somewhat regular-ish areas. Instead of going to bed at 4am and getting up when ever. I go to bed 1 to 2am and sleep 8 hours. Even on days off I find I only sleep 9 hours. So no over sleeping. Of course, with insomnia I am under sleeping. But a more regular, normalize sleep cycle is a good thing on the plus side.

What am I losing in this?

  1. Increased pain levels. The idea was one day on, one day off. But I am in high pain on work days, and that continues into my day off so I am laid out and useless on that day. So not exactly getting anything done on that day like housework or exercise. I am taking max amount of triptans to keep up. And the painkillers are barely dulling the pain. 
  2. Erratic sleep: Since my brain rather does not like going to sleep early and getting up early, it tends to not sleep much at night on days I work. Maybe three hours. So I am sleep deprived and likely the cause of the brutal migraines. Not much I can do about it when my sleep cycle has never been able to adjust to this.
  3. Increased nausea: Increased migraine pain has jacked up the nausea to epic proportions that even anti-nausea meds cannot handle.

So there is more gain than there is lose. But that pain is a big one. However it is important to note that part-time is significantly better than full-time. The roll I am doing is significantly less stressful... so it requires less work, effort and focus while in pain.

We all sort of have to do this cost vs benefit analysis with our jobs to see if it is working for us. To see if we need to adjust our hours, need flexible hours, should maybe work from home, have a career change or adapt in some other way if it is not working for us. Personally I think I need to continue and see how my pain adapts to the roll. I might have to start taking my triptans at work which I hesitate to do now due to the fact they make me very tired and rather stupid.

Fibromyalgia and stroke risk


 There was a population based study to take a look at whether FM increases stroke risk using the Taiwan National Health Insurance (NHI) claims database. Which enables people to evaluate a groupe of more than a million people followed with healthy controls over 3 years from January 1, 2000 to December 31, 2002. A total of 47,279 patients with fibromyalgia were studies with 189,112 healthy control

There were co-morbids that occurred like diabetes, IBS, hypertension, hyperlipidemia, coronary heart disease and interstitial cystitis, were more common in patients with fibromyalgia and also associated with a higher risk for stroke. The FM group held a 1.25 fold increased risk of stroke when compared with the controls.

In the absence of comorbids there was still a higher risk of stroke with the FM patients compared to the control group. It was particularly high in younger patients with 2.26 fold relative risk.

Increasing age increased the correlated risk of stroke risk there was presented with FM. But with the younger FM patients the relative risk remained high. The results conclude there is a higher risk of stroke with FM.

Source

10 ways you know you have a chronic illness



You know you have a chronic illness when...


1-You rate your pain by 'baseline', 'functional' and 'non-functional'.


2-You rate your fatigue by 'still conscious', 'unable to be upright' and 'capable of movement'.






3-You know more than your doctor about your illness and possibly Google at this point.



4-WebMD explodes if you attempt to use it.


5-Someone tells you 'But you look fine' and you throat punch them.


6-You can sleep 12 hours and still feel like you stayed up for 48.


7-You have a relationship with Netflix. 


8-You refuse to go to the ER until things get extreme, by your definition of extreme. 


9-You have met at least One judgemental douche nozzle doctor. With a 'its all in your head' pretending to listen to you and then brushing you off.




10-You were profoundly relieved at diagnoses to only then realize this is freaking Chronic.



Depression affecting my pain management


My depression is correlated to my chronic pain. That is how it came to exist but I am on medication for it and seeing a psychologist for it.

I feel that it inhibits the treatment for my chronic pain. All the things I need to do for the chronic pain my depression, well, doesn't agree with.

It tells me to be hopeless. That nothing will change. That the pain will last forever. That when I am in high pain... that existence isn't even worth it. That a pained existence isn't worthwhile. That this life is pointless. Then it tells me I can't do a damn thing about it. That it simply will never go away. And the facts support this because the pain is chronic. However, it Enhances this. Because of course we can do things to hopefully improve and manage the pain. Yes, it is indeed chronic, but we want to manage, cope and improve to any degree we can. And I have this broken record telling me that it is pointless to even put in any effort.

Then when I think I should put in the effort (because logically I know there is verifiable research on the things in my lifestyle changes that will indeed have the potential to improve my pain management) well I am too damn tired and completely lack the motivation to do anything about it. I sort of try and then the effort to engage in reality to any extent is beyond me.

I have to do what I have done in the past. The routine of Doing benefits with motivation. Just doing even if it is for 5 minutes. Motivation is very much about engagement. Fake it to you make it. I used to do this at work all the time. Just pretend you are happy, engage and do it... until it happens. Exercise, even a little, until you can establish a routine. Do the things you used to enjoy until you enjoy them again. Act. Move. Do. Lack of motivation is this soul sucking beast that just drains you of all potential to succeed in your goals and aspirations. But I need to have these health goals in progress because the pain needs to be managed. This is very important to me. Pain not managed, means depression isn't managed. It is a damn endless cycle of crapola. And depression tricks you into getting sucked into its warm blanket of numbness and who gives a damn anymore.

So I have to come to terms with how the depression is affecting me. And slowly compensate for that.

Do my:
  • socializing
  • leisure activities
  • watch my cognitive thought patterns
  • distract from the high pain
  • exercise- slow to start
  • meditation- every day.
  • gratitude journal

8 things we try to do with Chronic Pain

I began to think of the things we do along the way with chronic pain. That process we go through on the way to coping. There are a few things that passed my mind that we try to do, sometimes succeeding and sometimes not, but always aware of them.



  • - Compare to others or self- We often have this ideal self. This self that was never chronically ill and has not pain. This person that would have achieved Great Things and be Much More Productive. And we compare ourselves to this fictional character that in no way refects our actual self in our reality. We learn to accept this real person is the one that needs to cope, adapt, chage and deal with this reality. Comparing to others also happens because we all strive to impove and then we compare our improvement or lack there of to others. When we should compare to our own Recent past performance.
  • - Accept limitations- In the beginning I had a hard to finding my limits. I would find a summer job to work and it would be simply one I could not do. So I would literally suffer through it. Each summer job teaching me what not to do and my limits. We know them by pushing them. Go for a walk? And then find that limit by when the pain starts going up exponentially. We figure them out and accept them. 
  • - Learn to moderate- I learned this one the hard way. Every time I would push myself too far and then pay the price. Then learning to do less housework at a time each day and spreading it through the week. Learning work days are nothing but work, because my reserves are empty after. Days off are moderately doing things I can paced throughout the day. We pace, we rest and moderate. And thus avoid that boom and bust; of doing too much, increase in pain, can't do anything, have to recover, then feel a little better so do a lot... and all over again.  
  • -Manage sleep issues- We all know our sleep issues and disorders affect our health negatively. So we all know we have to address our sleep. And we all know it isn't easy. Meditation, biofeedback, medications... on and on.
  • - Accept this life- Never compare to our past self. Our past self is often seen as better than it likely was for one thing. But we are looking back like if only this never happened. Think of what I could have done and achieved... if not for this. We can't compare ourselves to illness free past self. That person doesn't exist and you have changed a great deal since then. But past self could whip through and clean the house in a day. So then I look at the fact I did a load of laundry and swept, and I feel guilty because I Used to be able to do more. We have to accept this life with its current abilities and limitations.
  • - Challenge negative thoughts- Over time it is really easy to get cynical, dark and even depressed about the constant pain. It leads to some pretty repetitive negative thinking. Like 'If I don't work then I am a drain on society and worthless' but we know we have more intrinsic value than what we do for a living. So we don't have to be overtly positive but when our thinking is beginning to have an impact on us they we have to help inspect our thoughts to make them more Realistic. Just write down the thought and reason out what is unrealistic about thinking that way. It is one way to help maintain our moods which I have discovered is as important as anything else with my coping.
  • - Treat any comorbid mental health issues- If we develop mental illness like anxiety and depression it is important we have it effectively treated. They are always saying need to maintain our mood with chronic pain because it can lag. With mental illness it is a whole area itself that needs to be paid attention to. It is part of our wellbeing. 
  • -Don't stop doing- Sometimes the pain intimidates us from doing things. We know a certain level will cause us pain. So it stops us from going out, from socializing, from exercising and more. But the most important thing about chronic pain is don't stop doing and living. Always be prepared, but have that social life ... in moderation. Go out, just be prepared and stay within your limits. We need to do the things that bring us happiness and joy, as these help us cope. And other things, like exercise are often important to treatment. And we learn we cannot let the fear of pain stop of from living our lives.

War in side of me and lack of awareness



There is a reason we always go with this war analogy of chronic pain and chronic illness.

There are battles in this war we lose or win. Tipping the scale of the war so it is going better or worse. Or sometimes each side is balance into a stalemate.

There will never be any victory in the war, but we can win some battles.

Plus it implies struggle. Conflict. Hardship. Blood and effing tears. Pain. A lot of pain.

Yes, this is a war.

Yes, this makes us warriors.

And although the war is endless, we can lose the war... we can lose warriors.


And all that struggle. Conflict. Hardship. Blood and effing tears. And pain?

Invisible.

I silent war. One casualty and collateral damage around the casualty.

All so silent.

"Why can't she work?"
"She has migraines."
"Pfft. That's nothing to complain about."

Invisible. Not known. Can't be seen. Silent wars... and we get out pain discounted and minimized. The impact to illnesses and chronic pain is there. But they don't see the impact.

Working part time?
Must be because you are lazy but because you have been told you can no longer work full-time.
Can't work at all?
Must be abusing the system with a bogus medical condition so as to not work.


We have our ongoing war to maintain our health defenses and coping strategies. But we have a war always ongoing facing perceptions, stigma and lack of awareness.

Migraines and Impact


I was thinking about migraines and impact today since I recently missed work running on a 9 migraine. 91% miss work or have impaired function at work. 51% have half the productivity at school or work. 53% have severe disability requiring reduced activity to bed rest (the 9ers). 31% have missed At Least 1 day of school or work in the past three months.

That is a lot of impact on work. Which we have to pay for. Loss of productivity. Missing work. Impaired functioning. All that comes down on us. As we struggle to focus through the pain. Struggle to hold onto our jobs.

What it doesn't show in these days is the decreased income and earnings over a lifetime with chronic migraines. Here is one that goes a little into that side of things.


Here we see high frequency episodic has the same impact as chronic migraines... impacting; significantly lower household incomes, less likely to be employed full time and more likely to be disabled. Certainly that is the case for me. Lowered my income, went down to part time. Just trying to manage work.

It impacts our entire lives.

Gripping about that irritation from pain


Gripping about that irritation from pain. Good thing no one is psychic from the angry little thoughts this pained brain comes up with when trying to function through the pain.

People like to think pain is just a sensation. It is initiated by something and the signal travels to the brain, the brain says 'Ow there is injury down there' and sends a signal back to signal pain. But that isn't true or you would stub your toe and go 'Oh I have hurt my toe'. Instead you go 'For effing sakes mother tucking fudge makers'. This is because the pain circuit includes the emotion sectors of the brain. Pain includes a Reaction.

So we have a broken system with chronic pain. But it is still wired as a circuit, just in an endless loop. We still have an emotional reaction to pain. Doesn't mean pain is the Cause of pain. Or a Trigger for migraines. It just means we have a Reaction to our pain sensation.

We are aware of this.


Pain makes us frustrated.

Pain makes us angry

Pain can make us silent or irritated.


I was thinking along the lines of that just frustrated ball of irritation today.

I think we have to acknowledge this is part of pain. There is hardwired a reaction in there. Some days better than others. I also believe part of our adapting and coping with chronic pain is our ability to respond to these reactions.

For example pain often makes me irritated. Hard for it not to. Often it is when I am trying to function through it. I get irritated when people interrupt my focus, because I am trying so damn hard to focus. Or when they talk about inane things and I am in so much bloody pain. And my response is to be silent. It is habitual now. Because I am really polite and I always think before I speak. I would never want to say something in anger or irritation that I do not mean. So in defense I become more and more quiet the more pain I am in.

But it is hard because I am irritated because I am Having to Function through the pain. It is difficult and stressful. It makes me angry and tired. So I am just a ball of frustration and irritation.

With a smile of my face that literally fools every single person I encounter. I occasionally get 'oh you look tired today' and that is it. No one can tell the level of pain let alone I feel like throat punching them because they are bothering me with something idiotic and I can't even think straight through the pain.

People talk about resting bitch-face. I think I have resting sweet face. I think I just look pleasant and in a good mood. All the time. I think that is why I can pass as happy, when I am irritated and depressed and hide the pain so well.

I swallow that irritation though. I know it is a fabrication of the pain. Just the pain messing with my brain. I refuse to cause conflict because the pain is a frustrating experience when trying to function with it.

I bet a penny psychologists recommend taking a minute to meditate to help with this. Like we can just excuse ourselves at work to find some quiet place, somewhere, to meditate our emotions down because the pain is getting to us.

Sort of glad my job now is less stressful so that that factor should not be quite apparent. It is only a factor on bad pain days anyway. When functioning lowers, I struggle to focus and this frustrates me.




3 areas we respond to our illness #ChronicBlogger


Now quotes like this I always say the ratios are skewed but I like the point.

Clearly chronic illness and chronic pain is more than 10%. It is a constant factor to us. And we also constantly respond to it.

Broad response:


We all have our overview response of our condition. Where our hope levels are. How we are coping. If our view of our situation is particularly negative or more optimistic. (I am overly cynical myself). Here we have an entire belief system that generally controls how we habitually respond to pain. Like my typically negative responses, which I constantly work on.

Broad responses to continuous stresses are what we are usually working on with psychologists. For example my excessive negative thoughts due to my pain and depression. I may think... I am always going to be in pain, it is endless and soulsucking so what is the point to life even? To suffer forever? Lovely thought. The best counter thought for that is that we can never know what treatment will bring or come in the future. We can never know if our pain will suddenly change. Therefore it is a exaggeration to assume it will last 'forever' when we cannot know that. So I confront the irrational thoughts with rational ones. Before they spiral down into an abyss of pain and depression.

I also believe optimistically that pain can be managed under the right conditions. If I do meditation, take my medications and exercise regularly. I might achieve some pain management. So there is a level of hope in my belief system.

How am I coping? This fluctuates but it important reflection of where you are. If you are coping poorly then your outlook on pain is not going to be positive. If you are coping well then your outlook is going to be looking much better. We respond to that by trying to figure out what is Not working for us and trying to change those things, or add things, to find the balance we lost.


Daily responses:


Then we have our daily responses. I get a migraine for example and I get frustrated. depressed, angry, irritated and/or sad.

This is where we have the potential to choose how we respond to it. The Broad response is something we work to change that helps us cope. The daily response is simply choosing how to respond to the level of pain we are in. We don't need to but sometimes we want to because we are in public, like working. I choice to create a humor, smiling, laughing facade to react to my pain because it helped me distance myself from it at work. I choice to react that way because functionally it works for me. I also choose at the higher levels to be silent, because of the high pain I fear if I am not silent just dealing with it I might come off as irritable or angry and I don't want to hurt anyone feelings over my pain.

Emotion though is a total normal response to pain. The brain is wired that way with the emotion centers in the pain circuit. And some emotional responses for migraines anyway are actually part of the migraines attack such as depression and euphoria. We have a right to feel emotions during an attack.

My go-to response is humor to hide the pain from others. And then when it is really high I get really silent. I get depression bouts as well at night with painsomia. I chose these responses so many times they have become habit for me. The flaw is when I am silent my spouse doesn't know my level of pain or confuses it with anger... it lacks communication.


Responding to the life

The rest of our responding is the whole shebang. We get diagnoses and from that day forth we are responding to that Illness and pain. We are learning. We developing coping strategies. We see doctors. Develop support networks. Get treatments. We are constantly adjusting to the illness and changing to adapt to it. making compromises when we need to. It is literally something we are always responding to because it constantly needs to be monitors and maintained. Every single thing we learn, every coping skill we pick up is us responding to our wellbeing. This is just the Chronic illness Lifestyle here. 

5 Basic things I would share with people about migraines

People ask me about migraines all the time and the information they have is very limited. So here is my post about my migraines. 5 things about my migraines.



1) It is not just a headache: still get a lot of people thinking it is just a bad headache when in fact it is a neurological disease. When you have an attack, the headache might not even be a part of it as is the case with a Silent migraine.



It was my illness, not me.



It is not me, it is my illness

There are simply things that are not me they are my illness.

  1. I wanted to go to the family event, social event and other events. Get out of the house. Have some fun. My illness said, nope, now is time for a massive migraine.
  2. I wanted to be there as we had planned two weeks ago to meet up. My illness said this is a fine time to feel horrific.
  3. I'm an articulate woman with a vast vocabulary. My illness gives me brain fog and says otherwise. Actually it says other pies, but it means, otherwise. 
  4. I love food. My illness says you shall have no appetite at all and then when you eat you shall be suddenly nauseated. 
  5. I like to see. My illness says Sparkles, sparkles everywhere!!! 
  6. I like to walk. My illness goes vertigo time! Haha you look drunk!
  7. My favorite season is spring. So refreshing and new. My illness decides this will be a pain filled time as flash storms come in and temperatures vary.
  8. I want to work, have career goals and explore my ambition. But my illness makes it impossible to work full time.

It wasn't me. It was my illness. 

Because my mind wants to do a lot of things. And sometimes it even has this notion it Can. I will and do test those limits. Nudge them. But when it comes down to it if I didn't come to that BBQ I was looking forward to a week it wasn't you, it wasn't because I didn't want it... it was my illness. That thing that has its own schedule and timeline. 

The thing which says 'Today, you Shall not Pass."


Just going to a family BBQ. You shall not pass!
Gotta get to work today. You shall not pass!
Have to get out of bed. You shall not pass!
I really need to do some grocery shopping. You shall not pass!
I have to go pee?  You may pass.


People get angry at us for our unpredictability when it comes to plans and schedules. I would use the example of Chronic Illness Wizard personally. But the fact is they blame us personally when we pull a no-show or cancel. Like we personally didn't want to go, ditched early or some some other sin on our part. Instead of saying this person Has an illness and that illness affects them in unpredictable ways. It wasn't them that didn't want to come as planned, it was the illnesses causing problems.

Are Opiates Really That Bad for Fibromyalgia?





Here is an interesting article on the problem of opiates and Fibromyalgia: Are Opiates Really That Bad for Fibromyalgia?


Studies have shown that daily opiate treatment is not effective. I should put on a side note that they also say exercise is the best treatment... but how to do That without some sort of pain control I have no clue. Exercise is painful even insanely slow exercise.

However the author rightly points out that this is Based on small studies of less than a hundred people. Making statements based on small studies always annoys me. Those small studies are sometimes fascinating and I always think, yes, more research is needed. But conclusive? Not by far.

She also points out that the studies are based on daily long term opiate use. As we all know this creates tolerance to the medication over time and more of the medication is needed. There is even the issue, in some cases, where doing so increases pain sensitivity over time. However, as she states, no one looks at taking pain meds as needed for flares. Which is a very logical choice really.

In her practice she is looking at less than ten days on of the month taking an opiate.

Now, I assume this depends on level of pain experienced by the person with fibromyalgia and any comorbid conditions.

I would love to just redirect you to the new site...

But sadly the redirect function doesn't function. I will continue to persist hitting it and see if it will eventually do something. Or s...